How do I go about self-development? What’s the good and the bad?

Everyone knows what self-improvement is. Self-improvement is wanting to better oneself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc.

Things that are good to make a person’s life better.

However, how do I go about self-development!! What’s the good and the bad?

There is a bad?!

Maybe!

Sounds crazy right?

You will find out soon and why I say this.

When I started getting serious…

I started becoming serious with self-improvement, probably, 2 to 3 years ago. My life was a mess at some points and it felt I needed a complete overhaul.

I wanted to change!!

I was heartbroken during those times. I felt my foundation was lost. The Ralph during those times was fading. In fact, I didn’t know myself anymore.

As time went by, slowly but surely, I didn’t know myself. The foundation that I built during the years was chipping away and it was painful to lose myself.

During my lows, my best friend would tell me to “focus on you.” I didn’t understand what he meant at that time, but I thought you ignore the problem. That’s true, but knowing how stubborn I am, it didn’t click at that time.

Until one day, I wanted to improve myself.

When I did, I discovered advantages and disadvantages. A bag full!!

Super advantage of self-improvement goals

Self-improvement is a positive action for yourself. It’s one of the first act of seeking love for yourself. It’s similar to how parents help their child grow but in your own terms.

It’s Fun!! There is nothing more enjoyable than to help yourself. It becomes a healthy addiction because you see yourself at the end of the road successful.

Motivation and Productivity. Improving oneself increases to want to succeed. It becomes a 24/7 job only exciting. Especially, when we are in a world that operates in a 9 to 5 system. Therefore, there is not really a lot of time to spare for us. However,  as you spend your time improving, it becomes an addiction. And, when it becomes an addiction, you become motivated and productive.

  • Another thing that I realize when I do self-improvement, I was passionate. I had this laser focus! It felt good and I felt unstoppable. It feels like I need to get things done or my day can never become complete. It really feels good knowing I’m coming closer to my goal.

Having Self-awareness. For me, I’ve noticed details about myself that I never knew about myself. For example, how my body always tenses when I’m under pressure. Plus, I become aware of my thoughts and reasons why it happens. So, that’s the thing that helps me improve.

Skills improve. Without a doubt, your skills skyrocket! This is a no brainer haha!!

Self-Love and value. Personal improvement is searching for yourself. And, when we look out for ourselves, then it’s the act of love. It’s the reward for yourself and how you want to see yourself in the future.

  • For me, as I improved myself, then the more I loved myself. I discovered who I was and what I am. However, I didn’t love my current and especially my past self. I was only looking forward to loving my future self. The one that I am improving and aspire to become.
  • So, one day I realized. It helped me realize that your future self is not the only thing you should love about yourself as you self-improve. But, loving oneself from past, present, and future. No matter what!! Personal development opened my eyes to what I am. This all happened in 2017.

The disadvantage is self-improvement goals!

Now, let’s explore personal improvement’s negative setbacks.

Lack of appreciation. We can never have enough in the world. People that always strive for more, barely see what they already have. It’s the lack of belief in themselves that appreciation for the present moment is absent.

  • In the past, I always thought about doing more. When I finally reach my goal, I always think I needed more of that. I was never satisfied and I pressured on myself. It consumed my mind to keep wanting more of something that I already had. I was never at peace. I thought that if I get it just one last time, then I would be okay. But that didn’t happen.
  • Eventually, I got over it. But, sometimes I’m not perfect, therefore I would want more. However, it doesn’t disrupt my peace of mind anymore.

The way of understanding. Sometimes, personal improvement can hinder our understanding of ourselves at the moment. Sometimes, we have our own issues, but we can’t seem to understand the cause of it. We seem to ignore our issues, therefore never dealing with them at first hand. We believe, self-improvement can remove the issues, but it will always be there.

  • A few years ago, I was constantly improving on my confidence. I felt unstoppable and it felt good knowing I improved. But, there was always something that I didn’t understand. I was sad. I thought, if I kept improving, then the sadness would be gone. I was wrong. It was useless to keep building something if there was something that felt off with me.

You can become Obsessed with your problem. The reason people improve themselves is that they believe they have a problem. They believe that something is wrong with themselves. Therefore, they throw away what they were and focus on creating what they believe is correct. They abandon themselves and start anew. However, if a person sees themselves as a problem in the first place without dealing with that issue, then the root of the problem will always be there. Therefore, if a problem arises with oneself, then the same issue will resurface.

  • Over time there was a personal issue I was dealing with, I become overly obsessed with trying to fix what was “wrong.” I somewhat became paranoid of any negativity I had. I believe, perfectionism was the answer. But not really! I just drove myself crazy!
  • It wasn’t healthy. So, I decided to free myself from perfectionism and enjoy the process. When I became obsessed, it was similar to a person telling me that there was something wrong with me. I just pestered myself. So, letting go had an effect.

Comparison. Self-improvement is good as long it’s kept within oneself. However, we get sidetracked and compare ourselves to others. We either believe we are superior or inferior to other parties. When we believe that, we become consumed my resentment.

  • I remember a time when my reason for improving myself was due to others being better than me. I had a somewhat big ego before, so feeling superior to anyone made me feel great. But, when others did better, then I would feel a little irritated.
  • One day, I wanted to rid myself of seeing other people for their successes and focused on what I had to offer. I’m glad I noticed it right away and I started focusing on myself. It sounds selfish, but you have to do it.

Lack of being enough. At the end of the day, self-improvement reveals the lack of our desires. As long as we can’t accept ourselves, then we are bound to change something in or out of ourselves. Some people haven’t accepted themselves and by constantly changing their beliefs, they create an illusion for themselves. Self-improvement sometimes hides what we lack and the emptiness. Regardless, you are what you are and we should accept that.

  • In the past, I felt that the only way to fill the void in my heart was to improve everything else in life, which is not a bad idea. But, I did it because I wanted people’s recognition. I wanted people to see how great I am. But, I realize that in the end, it made me sad. It didn’t make me feel enough.
  • I finally overcame this issue not too long ago. I finally let go of anyone’s approval. I fully accepted what I am, regardless. Past, present, and future, you should always love yourself.

Why you are always enough regardless.

Self-improvement is cool! But, some people do it because they don’t feel enough with their current state.

Honestly, I’ve realized that the reason I did self-improvement was not that I wanted to, but it felt that I had. I never felt complete with myself, so I was constantly refining and changing things.

And, there was a cost to it. I ended being indecisive because I felt a lot of things about myself needed some fixing.

However, that never made me happy, despite my personal development. I feel regardless, I would always feel the same way because I lacked contentment with myself.

It only felt like I needed to prove something to people and that failed miserably. Frustration loomed over me and I started to feel lost again.

Then one day, I gave up on trying to prove a point. I didn’t care about it anymore.

When I gave up, I started to realize the precious life that I had. It made me see the colors of my life again. It made me happy that wherever I am and even the past, I will always feel enough.

The pressure is off and now I can feel free knowing what I am is enough.

Overall, I love self-improvement

In conclusion, personal improvement is great! We should always strive to become the better versions of ourselves. There are so many resources for it as well! Like websites, training, techniques, books, tips, etc.

There is so much advantage when improving oneself and there are some disadvantages as well.

But regardless, we should enjoy the process and never forget who we are.

Others believe if something goes wrong then we don’t feel enough. Therefore, we have to change what we are, so we do personal development.

In my opinion, whether you are rich or poor, sad or happy, ugly or pretty, self-improvement won’t matter as long as we accept ourselves first.

Thanks for listening and reading everyone. Please leave a comment!

Namaste!!

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