Now when I say the word alone, some people give it a negative feel. It’s understandable because humans are social creatures that thrives with groups to survive.
Many times, people view a person who is alone timid, antisocial, misunderstood, etc. It’s always something negative.
In social events, a person who is often alone is view not worth speaking with for the most part. It’s a real hassle. But, I always believe that there is something great about solitude. Some people call be crazy, but there are few that agree with me haha.
Let me show you my take on being alone and it’s a good one too 😉
But first, let me tell you short story.
My journey of being a Lone Wolf and How I enjoyed solitude!
My whole life, many of my peers saw me as a loner. It wasn’t comfortable at first, but I soon learned to embrace the gifts of being lonely.
I was always a shy kid growing up, so I was always left on my own. I wasn’t always happy being on my own. In fact, I was sad when people didn’t talk to me. I just watch from a distance and desired the same things as they did.
Often times, I doubted myself. I thought there was something wrong with me.
In elementary, I didn’t have many friends. There were not many children that were willing to spend their time with me. It makes me feel a bit sad. But, it helped me think to myself more.
In middle, I did gain more friends, but it was more of the same as elementary. I tried to fit in with the kids, but there was not much satisfaction.
In high school, I was always with nerds and geeks, but often times I spend my days alone. There was one point, I was getting tired of it. So, I did try to befriend some popular kids. But, I was not happy.
In college, I was always myself in the beginning. Then I met my best friend in 2012.
One day, my sister and I joined a club in 2014 and it was a struggle, due to our shy personality. I was often
myself in the beginning. The only person that was there by my side was
my sister. We were a team!
There were moments that we wanted to leave the club, but we never gave up.
People felt uncomfortable with me. However, things started to shift when I made a friend with an exchange student in 2015 that just joined the club. She was kind and was willing to talk with
me. At first, I wanted to leave the club, but her presence gave me the reason to stay.
From then on, I enjoyed coming back to the club. It wasn’t a hassle anymore.
Anyways, I didn’t feel lonely as much. As time went by, she eventually left to her country. I was sad to see her off, but things move on. However, I felt different. After she left, more exchange students came and became friends. Plus, it was a great way for the club members to bond, thanks to the exchange students.
This went on for the next 3 years, I believe. I met a lot of people. But by the end of my journey in the club, I reached to a point where I was neglecting myself. I didn’t have much alone time as I did in the past.
In the past, I craved for the companionship, but now I realize that I enjoy being alone. Despite many awesome memories and companionship, I want to focus on myself. I think I gained self-love through the years, so I felt that way.
Networking. You might not have as many friends as other people do.
- In my case, I didn’t have much close friends. I have handful of them, but not bunch. If I wanted a party, then it’s only the size of McDonalds or something haha.
- I don’t mind. Sometimes, quality over quantity is far valuable.
Social. Yes, too much solitude might be boring at times. That’s why we need to balance ourselves. Being social and enjoy company can be beneficial.
- Sometimes, I get bored! I want to talk as well and spend time with friends.
- So, a happy balance of solitude and socializing.
Anxiety. It might come to a point that instead of being alone, you might feel lonely. That’s when negative voices in your head saying that people might not want us or we are not enough as a person. I mean, this happens if you don’t feel whole with yourself yet.
- A few years back when I lacked self-love, I always had anxiety of being lonely. It was tough, but sometimes that anxiety helped me figure things on my own.
- As I met new people in the club I used to join, I began to appreciate my time for myself. That’s valuable time!
Opportunity. Sometimes, you might miss out on business proposals, potential partner, friendships, etc. So, there are that risk, but there will always be opportunities ahead. We live in a world of abundance!!
- There were a few times when I’ve been invited for social events, but I rejected them and spent my time with myself. I did wonder if I have met a person that might make my world go wild in that social event.
- I learned to let it go if opportunity passes. There will always be opportunities again. It’s never too late in life. It’s just a matter of when you’re ready or willing.
Memories. You might not have as many memories to cherish with others.
- Sometimes, I want to build memories with my friends and family. Do things that will create meaningful memories. Being alone does create memories with yourself and your adventures, but sometimes I would like to create them with the ones I value.
- For me, I want to create these memories. Sometimes, I have to sacrifice one thing for the other because I know there will always be an opportunity for own goals.
Complacent. Sometimes, being alone might leave you too comfortable. To the point that you don’t want to interact with others.
- I remember, I got complacent with myself. I didn’t want to interact and that was not a good sign for me, in my opinion.
- So, I learned to put myself in awkward situations.
Time. It’s an opportunity to spend time with yourself. People are busy with work, school, friends, events, etc. They don’t have time for themselves. Being alone grants us that chance for ourselves!
- I love being alone because it creates more time for myself.
Productivity. You get things done much quicker! You don’t waste time with anything else but getting things done. Sure, teamwork is beneficial, but it can become a hindrance because you don’t have much freedom to think for yourself.
- I get things done so much quicker. I love teamwork, but sometimes I get lazy with groups. It makes me complacent, so being alone allows me productivity to kick in.
Freedom. Having to think for yourself is wonderful in its own right. The freedom to act on your own and take action based on your own. You don’t need permission from others.
- Everyone wants freedom! For me, this is my time to enjoy and taste life for what its meant for.
Decision. You make decisions based on your rational. You don’t have to worry about anyone hindering your choices Unlike when you depend on people, you can’t express your decisions and it’s always frustrating.
- I decide for myself. I don’t have anyone telling me how to do things.
Self love. This one is obvious to me! You don’t have to rely on people’s love, but your own.
- I learned that being alone is an opportunity to build self-love. It’s great to have people around, but I’t keep taking their love. I have to find that love for myself and solitude grants me that chance.
Attraction. Believe it or not, but there is something mysterious about a person that acts on their own. Sure, there is an appeal for someone in a wolf pack, but there is something more about the lone wolf. Where there is mystery, there is curiosity and when there is curiosity, then there is attraction. Especially, when you reach an abundant mindset, then people will feel that energy.
- This is really true haha. I remember, I was laying down on a log st the beach and a girl approached me. She asked me how I was doing.
Self improvement. I feel, being alone helps personal improvement. Big time!! When you start to meditate, you see things you want to improve on. So, being alone grants that opportunity to refine yourself.
- Probably the only time that I improve myself is when I access on my own. I reflect on my successes and mistakes. It’s a bit difficult for me to improve if there are people around me. I lose focus.
Understanding. You understand yourself more. You meditate and you see your limitations. Although, being with people can help you understand your level in social situations, but being alone allows you to dig deeper to the cobwebs of your mind.
- Being alone helps me become self-aware. I’m aware of my limitations and how I find ways to improve on them.
Lonely vs. Being Alone
There is a difference between loneliness and being alone. Some people mistaken the two as the same thing, but they are different in their own right.Howeverever, both are choices.
When a person feels the longing of a companion and does not enjoy solitude, then that’s loneliness. Someone that feels empty inside and needs external love, but has a hard time getting that.
Being alone is when a person reach wholeness with themselves and enjoy their time with themselves.
You can either choose to say “Oh, I’m not good enough. No one likes me.” them proceeds to feel desperate of others affection, due to loneliness. Or, you can choose to say “Wow, I enjoy myself and if no one likes it, then that’s too bad for them. Either way, I’m going to enjoy my time.”
Sure, being alone doesn’t win you many friends and it doesn’t make you that popular in some cases. But, it has tremendous benefits.
Many people don’t realize, but being alone feels good when you reach wholeness with yourself. It grants more time for yourself and the things you value.
Never confuse of being lonely to being alone. Because that may seem the same, but they’re opposites of the spectrum. Two sides of the same coin.
All I say, enjoy your time for yourself. In a world of social media and a hectic lifestyle, we don’t take time for solitude. It hinders our relationship with ourselves.
So, be free and feel life in solitude!
Thank you everyone. Please leave a comment and I will see you again!