How I deal with Stress? The good and the bad of it!

Stress is not pleasant! Who wants that?! I haven’t met many people who likes stress. Usually, they just avoid it and think about something else entirely.

Even for me, I dislike thinking about the stressful situations that I had in my particular day. I mean, I just want to have a great time! Why bother with talking about something unpleasant?

But for real though? Is stress really all that bad?

Is it not that helpful? I think it can help and it’s a good thing too. Stress is used for survival!

It sounds insane, I know haha!

But, depending how you use it can make it worthwhile. Let’s go and I will show you.

Yay!! Story time!

Did you know I used to work at a fast food restaurant? No?!

Well, I used to work at KFC back in 2017. I was a Salad Prep!

I prepared food products and I cook them. For example, I cooked biscuits, grilled chicken, BBQ chicken, mashed potato and gravy, etc. However, I was not responsible for the crispy chicken and whatnot.

Anyways, that job was stressful!!

The manager treated everyone like she was the sargaent of an army. She would yell at you, belittle you, and treat you like a worthless scumbag. By the end of the day, you would feel like you were the worst human being to walk the planet.

Not to mention, the job had so much pressure! It was FAST! It was heart wrenching and mentally draining! My emotions was through the roof! And, it was physically draining! Lifting heavy things and going at top speed was insane. Especially, dealing with customers.

Everyday, people get injured! I got burned, slipped, slightly tore my foot, and received cuts. But, I had to keep going no matter what. No wonder why no one likes being a Salad Prep :O

I couldn’t even stand still for 10 seconds without getting yelled at for hours or being behind schedule.

However, one day I realized something. I was emotionally and mentally stronger in many situations.

Something changed in me.

Working at KFC helped me. I mean, it’s one of them. The stressful moments helped build my mental and emotional strength. I said to myself, “If I can learn how to cultivate this, then prehaps it can take me somewhere.”

From then on, working at KFC became enjoyable because I wasn’t just there for the money, but I was there to train myself and learn about myself. The great thing about it, no one forced me.

I also realized that all the stress that was happening was just created in my mind. It probably never existed in the first place. Because sometimes, the things a person hates might be enjoyable to another and vice versa.

I realized that it doesn’t matter what your circumstance are. If you learn how to overcome stress in any situation, then you will be better off.

I didn’t use stress to survive, but to grow.

Advantages of Stress.

I’m not saying you should always feel stressful. That would be strange if you like doing it. But, there are great things that can happen when faced with stressful situations. Here are the advantages that I’ve experienced during my stressful moments.

Fortitude. When I get stressed out, I become stronger than I was before the stressful event. Whether I’m dealing with anything physical or faced with emotional and mental situations, I’m filled with greater fortitude. However, for some people it might take time, but in the long run you become immune.

  • Just like the KFC story, I became stronger. Once I understood what was going on with my mind, I cultivated that stress to make me even stronger. I started to embrace the chaos.

Understanding. Stressful moments help you understand your limitations. Sometimes, we talk a big game, but we don’t always understand our capabilities. Now, this depends the moment of stress, but for my case it You begin to love the stressful moments because it helps improve yourself to the next level.

  • I became more aware of my limitations. There were moments when believed I could do everything on my own, so I overestimated myself. But, when situations occur, I would break down because I didn’t realize my limits. I felt stressed! So, stress does make you realize your limitations.

Tasks. Stress helps manage tasks more effectively! Stress happens when there is something to fear. Therefore, we take action to overcome anything due to stress.

  • For me, procrastination was common. It was a bad habit and perhaps I’m still struggling with it. But, it helped me finish my duties much quicker due to stress. It wasn’t spread out. The reward in the end is relief.

Disadvantages

When stress becomes too much!

Emotional. It can cause depression and anxiety! Probably the most obvious, in my opinion.

  • Well, this is obivious! When I felt emotionally stressed, it made me feel extreme sadness. Before it was hard to control it, but now it’s easy.

Physically. It really affects our health. Such as our immune system. People can get sick and some people experience panic attacks. The chemicals associated with stress can affect overall health.

Mentally. It messes up our brain. It’s hard to think and it feels like your head will explode!

  • I get headaches when stress is too high. It feels like my brain is sagging.

Spiritually. When stress happens, it feels so draining. You become hopeless and forget about your foundation as who you are.

  • Sometimes, the feeling of being trapped is stressful. Even if I sit still in an environment I dislike stresses me out. It drains my energy.

How do I reduce stress in my life?

Identify. First, I recognize that I’m feeling stressed and identify the cause. I say, “Okay, my homework is killing me!!TT”

Stop and relax. Then, I stop whatever I’m doing and try to relax my body. Be present!

Start breathing. I begin to breathe deep into my stomach area. Feel the air flowing down. How to breathe?

  • Step 1: Relax and try to make your body supple.
  • Step 2: Sit or lay down comfortably.
  • Step 3: Take a deep breath into your nose through your stomach for about 7 to 12 seconds. Try not to expand your chest, but rather your stomach is being filled with air.
  • Step 4: After inhaling, exhale through your mouth slowly. As you exhale, tighten your stomach by vacuuming.
  • Step 5: Repeat the process 7 to 10 times.

Moving. After I do my deep breathing exercises, I start getting loose a bit. I try to move and free myself from any tension.

  • Do some walking, running, dancing, etc. Just feel the freedom!

Space and time. If I want, then I can put whatever I’m doing aside and give myself time to rest. Sometimes, that helps your mind recover from the stress. We have to listen to our body too.

  • Sometimes, meditation can help. It helps me!! If I need to rest, then I rest. I try not to force myself until breaking point. I rather start again, so I can enjoy whatever I’m doing.

Conclusion

You guys heard my story when I worked at KFC and how stress helped me build mental strength. I learned how to cultivate it and start embracing chaos.

Then, there were advantages and disadvantages with stress.

But, we learned how to cope with stress, at least how I do it (which is helpful!).

Stress is “stressful!” We always live with it, but we can learn to understand it. By learning to understand, we can grow and understand ourselves. Sometimes, stress helps understand our limits. We become aware!

We should learn to live, grow, embrace, and learn with stress. In my opinion, stress is not only used to survive, but to grow too.

Thank you everyone! Please comment and share your thoughts!^^

Detroit Become Human Review

How I discovered the game?

My sister introduced this game to me. Of course, I already knew about Quantic Dream, but I didn’t know they made a new game.

I didn’t know what to expect from this game. I thought it would be a first person shooter type.

So, I played it! This game change how I see my life and what inner strength is about.

I decided to give a brief review of it, while minimizing as many spoilers as I can.

What the game is about

In 2038 at Detroit, Androids has become popular among humans. Humans buy androids for their convenience.

Because androids never disobey, tire, or complain, they are replacing many humans in certain fields, thus are becoming the labor workforce.

However, something happens along the line that made androids have free will and emotions. They are thinking for themselves and they want freedom! The Androids become deviants! A deviant is when an android expresses emotions and free will to think for themselves.

The players control three Androids, Connor, Kara, and Markus. It allows us to uncover their lives as deviants.

Connor, an android created to investigate and hunt down androids that gone deviant.

Kara, Initially, a caretaker for Todd and Alice. She will do what it takes to protect Alice at all cost and in search of freedom.

Markus, an android that works as a server, but later becomes a revolutionary leader.

Features

Gameplay. The gameplay features character interactions and quick time events. The game presents the players’ various buttons to press for action sequences. This determines the character’s success and the characters can die as well. As the story progress, the player decides each of the character’s fate. Each decision has consequences, which leads to different outcomes throughout the story. The characters can live or die. Plus, it allows the players to decide their outcomes.

Graphics. The graphics are great! The CGI models look just like their real-life counterparts. The movements are quite fluid.

Music. The music was fantastic! The execution was phenomenal! Each scene became more captivating when they added their music. It gave me goosebumps.

Cinema. Every scene was done well! It felt like a movie and the motions of the characters felt like real people. I was interacting with them.

=> Buy here if you want to purchase the game for a good price <=

LIkes & Dislikes

Likes

  • Characters
    • Depending on your choices, the characters are relatable. They struggle their inner demons. As I played it, I felt I was the characters and it made me care about their journey.
  • Music
    • I loved it! The trio had their respective themes that match their situation. The music score gave me goosebumps.
  • Gameplay
    • I like the quick time events! Those were fun moments and it gave me goosebumps. I was always scared to mess up haha. There are things that you might still miss along the way. The movements of the characters were great! I loved the exploration
  • Story
    • Honestly, this game is probably my favorite of the Quantic Dream productions. It felt like I was part of the story. I was so scared for the characters and there were precious moments. Even small moments that I will never forget. For example, when Alice was happy in the theme park. That was the first time I’ve seen her that happy.
  • Choices.
    • This game is heavy on choices. The choices you make can either lead to a different outcome throughout the game, relationships with your comrades can change, and their overall characters can change. I like the fact that it solely depends on the player’s choices.
  • Controls.
    • Surprisingly, I liked the controls. It’s straightforward and it’s not complicated.

Dislikes

  • Expressions
    • I watched the making of the game. For some reason, during the production, the actors showed more emotion than their game counterparts. It felt like some characters couldn’t express their emotional expressions fully.
    • For example, Markus was impactful, but not if he was able to show more emotional expressions during his speeches.

What did I learn from this game?

During my playtime, there were things that made me realize. Here are a few things!

Love. The game drives deep on love. That it makes no difference what you are.

Identity. The characters discovered themselves along with their journey. It was stunning! During my path, I was able to relate to them.

Equality. Obviously, the androids want freedom. It showed me that as humans, we are still ignorant to those that are different. It’s one of the dark natures of this game.

Choices in life. You can never turn back time. So, the choices we make in life should count.

Rate

Story and theme: 9.5/10

Gameplay: 9/10

Music: 10/10

Cinematics: 9/10

Controls: 8.5/10

Characters: 10/10

Graphics: 9/10

Total: 9.29/10

Detroit Become Human is FANTASTIC!

In conclusion, I recommend anyone who hasn’t played this game. It’s one of the most endearing games I ever played. My emotions riled up. It was intense!!

The choices we make in life counts. Sure, as long as we live, then it’s never too late for anything. Just how I discovered about the game was a bit late, but nothing is late in life. But, what matters is living in the present moment.

Thank you Quantic Dream for an amazing game!

How I deal with ANGER and how it helps you! What are there PROS and CONS?

Anger is one of those things that burden us.

We live in a world of fear and anger. The world makes us believe what we can’t do and it angers us. It drives us insane and it makes us do things we regret later in our life.

But one thing for sure, anger is not all that bad as long it’s used properly. Especially if it’s used at the right direction! When we learn to embrace anger it becomes a window.

I’ll show you! But first, let me tell you one of my experience and how I overcome them from time to time.

The angry me!

As a young person, I am prone to anger. Especially, when there are things going on with my life and there are many things to think about.

There are things I did in the past that I regret, but many times those helped me realize my situation.

I’ll give one example!

There was a girl that I used to like. Let’s call her SA (If you read my heartbreak post, you will know this story). We didn’t get along after our misunderstanding and I tried to reconcile with her. I wanted her to forgive me. From time and time, I sucked it up and tried my best to repress my emotions.

Despite her rejecting all my attempts, I never gave up on her. That kept going on for 6-7 months, but no prevail.

During the first phases, I hit a depression and it was frustrating. Every day felt like hell!

As time went by, my frustrations piled up.

Until one day in March of 2017, that’s when I got angry. I yelled at SA and her friends because it brought flashbacks of the person that I care. Let’s her call her KA.

My thoughts were “KA was hurt because of them in the past. I didn’t want to stand there and do nothing!!”

So, I shouted at them. I became enraged!

I was seeing red and black. I didn’t think clearly. I heard SA was really scared. But, I didn’t care at that time.

Was that a mistake on my part? Definitely! Because that didn’t show who I was as a person and it frightened some people. I might have caused casualties, which I’m glad never happened. Or else, I would regret it for the rest of my life!

Later that evening, it helped me realize I needed to finally let go.

Disadvantage

Anger definitely has disadvantages! Especially the consequences that happens after it happens. So, you guys better be careful!

Scary. Being angry makes you look scary! I mean, it’s obvious! Who wants to deal with that!?

  • I remember after I got angry at SA and her friends, SA got frightened. So, it did make me look scary. Did I regret it? In the beginning, yes, but not anymore. Did I make a mistake by shouting? Yes, I did, but I was grateful no one got hurt.
  • I learn to calm myself first before an outburst and think things through. Or else, I’ll look like the Beast from ‘Beauty and the Beast.’

Relationships. Anger causes relationships to fall apart. It leads to consequences that could be difficult to restore.

  • Sometimes, I offend people when I am angry, so it does leave a scar on them. Sometimes, I regret doing those things, but we learn from them and we move on.

Pride. In my experience, anger is usually triggered by pride. Everyone has egos that keep them protected. So, when that protection is gone, people can’t help but feel a sudden burst of emotions.

  • Sometimes when I get angry, I feel my pride has been hurt. I do have a slight ego, so that’s the thing I always try to improve on.

Control. Sometimes, we can’t control ourselves during an outburst. We just allow it to control us and that’s our choice too.

  • Honestly, sometimes I lose control when I get angry. I say things that I didn’t mean to say.
  • I learn to control myself by deep breathing. Deep breathing through the stomach helps clear my mind. Meditation helps as well!

Advantage

Learning a lesson and personal responsibilities. Sometimes, after getting mad you start regretting. SO, when you regret, you begin to learn from that regret and dislike feeling that way.

  • Everytime I get angry, I tell myself “I shouldn’t have done that :(.” It does make me think for a while. But after learning from it, I feel grateful afterward.
  • In my opinion, anger reminds me of my weaknesses. Whatever offends me tells me more about my insecurities.

Health. It’s healthy because it helps release tension in the body. In my opinion, tension is like your repressed emotions. Tension that leads to consequences like violence and insanity. Sometimes, we hold back our anger, which builds up until no return. And, when things don’t go our way, we release all that built up anger to anything we see. So, getting angry is okay if we put it in the right place.

  • When there were moments that I repressed my anger, it made me feel horrible inside and my day would feel terrible.
  • What I do, I go to an isolated place and start getting angry on my own. I shout, punch the wall, sometimes cry. After doing that for some time, I feel fresh and relaxed. I felt like the weight on my shoulders disappeared. Another way I do it is to talk to myself and express what I’m feeling. A lot of times, I learn something about myself.

Relationships. So, getting angry helps improve relationships. You express your frustrations to whomever that you had a fight with and try to resolve it.

  • Sometimes, we have difficulty expressing our frustrations towards anyone. But, it’s okay to become vulnerable. You let them know what boundaries not to cross next time it occurs.
  • However, what I learned is that it’s only effective if we express our feelings without blaming. We tend to blame anything that we think that caused us to feel angry.

Boundaries. It reminds others to not cross our boundaries and it’s healthy to have them.

  • Anger is like a reminder that we have things we need to protect and value.

How to manage it?

Accept it. Ignoring the feeling of anger or repressing it can give you unstable reactions in the near future. You have to admit your anger because if not then it causes a person to feel terrible. Once you accept your anger, then the weight on your shoulder disappear.

  • In the past, I didn’t want to admit that certain things made me angry. So, if didn’t help my cause. It made me feel more depressed as time went by. It’s toxic!!
  • I overcame this by admitting what always made me irritable. When I did that, I felt better and I became more aware of my thoughts.

Question yourself. You have to ask yourself, why a certain thing is pissing you off! You have to take your time to get access to yourself. Instead of question other people who piss you off, why not question yourself too. Sometimes. blaming others is easy, but it’s hard to look at ourselves

  • I had that issue in the past. I never questioned my anger, so I blamed others for not doing things as I wanted or expected. I had some pride back then, so admitting myself that I could be wrong didn’t cross my mind.
  • But this all changed in 2017 when I shouted to SA and her friends. I was becoming the person that I despised. I wanted to change that, so I became more self-aware.

Choice. It’s our choice to change. We have to realize the consequences of this action if it goes out of control.

  • In my case, I chose to feel angry at times. Our emotions are our choice after all. Only I can give myself permission to feel offended by others. We hold our own doors to people. Nowadays, if people try to hate on me on purpose, I just close my door and shrug it off. Shrugging your shoulders helps too!

Embracing and expressing. Telling people how we feel when we are angry is helpful. Embracing the emotions and thoughts when it occurs feels more liberating. Instead of pushing it away, we have to see for what it is. Anger is an emotion and it should embrace the same way as happiness. It also feels better to express the things that make us angry.

  • Before I used to blame people for my anger, but it never helped. It only made things worse. I channeled my anger towards people instead of self-expression.
  • What I’ve learned when trying to express my anger, it’s better to let the other party know how you feel about their actions instead of blaming. For example, use “I feel …… when you do this ……” instead of saying “You always do this and that and this …….” It’s showing your vulnerability, which helps the other party to relate.

Conclusion

It’s okay to feel angry and it’s healthy. Even I struggle with it.

Anger does have its disadvantages where it makes you look scary and out of control, but does have advantages.

Advantages for health and learning lessons!

Anger is healthy! If we repress our anger it expands and can cause a larger problem! So, express your anger. Express it without judgment and a healthy way. Never in a violent way.

Expressing how we help to liberate us and understand ourselves. You begin to accept the emotion and yourself.

When you understand your own anger, it helps to understand others feeling it.

Thank you for reading and please a comment!